Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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