he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We just shotgunned beers for America
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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