my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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