she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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