return my video game
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
