if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
