It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
