you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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