I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
