He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
