what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
