11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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