remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
