was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
how does that bad decision feel?
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