hotel room ftw
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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