You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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