I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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