I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
