are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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