Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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