3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
