So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
