using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
