thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
