Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
