i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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