That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
