Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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