He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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