i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
