I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
nutella sex= disaster
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So vagazzling was a success
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
