i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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