one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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