I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
