can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
