then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
