If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
