the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
