dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
