Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
