I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
