did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
