All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
