dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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