Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
