you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
