Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize