i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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