Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
