how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
