the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
