the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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