Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
