I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
