I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
