AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize