I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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