I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
