I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to make out with him forever
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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